Bebe Taian: Burnout

May 7, 2012


So, I think I hit a burnout point and didn't even realise it because... I was too busy working. :P

My sister finally came home last week. She didn't have the heart transplant yet, for various reasons. But there's still so, so much to contend with, since obviously her heart didn't just magically get better. I was fostering one of their cats for awhile, which was awesome because I LOVE THAT AZRAEL CAT! =^.^= But it was not awesome because we already have four cats in a tiny space. And I kept having to run cat-related errands, with Bebe getting very sick AND Sam (my mother's cat) having a bad eye infection, on top of helping family/friends with their errands and other crises.

I'm also running the Perthro's Pagan Supplies full-time, and it has to be, since it takes hours to pack herbs alone, not to mention inventory, photographing, listing, keeping up with orders, packing and shipping, etc. On top of that, I still have my job at Ichiban's. I'm also trying to come up with money for new Bebe Taian inventory come the Summer, so that I can do all the shows locally for the Japanese festival markets. And I'm still looking for more work in the retail sectors around town for more income to make up for slow business.

None of this, I mind doing. If I didn't want to, I wouldn't. I have a car available, and enough 'free time' (ie, time that I could be keeping up with work but instead chose to spend on 'real people'), so if someone I care about needs help doing something (in this case, getting to work, court, or the hospital), I'm there. But it's also getting to the point where I can't manage daily life and three jobs, while preparing for a fourth, AND do household chores AND look after a husband AND have anything resembling 'personal time'.

I'll try to set a goal of two articles a day for the next week to catch up, but aside from that, I think I should take a break, reorganise, then come back with a vengeance. ^_~ There's a MILLION things I've been wanting to post about! I make notes everywhere, even if the 'note' is leaving a particular book out for a month on my bedside table... all about things I want to explore or do or write about.

So, there it is. It's like a Japanese horror movie. There is no happy, fuzzy resolution at the end of the story. It just kind of ... ends. Inconclusive, uncomfortable, unsatisfying, with potential for a sequel.

But one thing is for sure: like an onryo, I will return again and again to this same spot, regardless of circumstances or changes around me. :P Except with less "I'm going to do something scary!" and more "Look at all these pretty things!" Wait for it, okay?

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