Bebe Taian: Slight Buying Spree

September 17, 2017

Slight Buying Spree

I didn't really have the money to do it yet, but I saw some pieces that I really couldn't pass up. I'm a little tired of my 'plain, conservative' style. I feel so old. But... I'm young still, and I need to remember that before I DO get too old to do much for myself. I can't see myself as ever having been young, but I think I wasted my youth on depression and misery. I've always been the "responsible one", an adult from childhood. And not even 30 yet, I feel like a grandparent waiting to die, an old wolf lumbering along until I fall one more time.

I think I can change that. They say "fake it 'til you make it", right? So maybe if I change my life, I can change my attitude. Sometimes it doesn't work the 'right way' around, changing attitude and then changing life. So maybe if I put a little effort into reminding myself, it'll help?

When I was very young, in my teens, I was in love with ofurisode. I adored them. The bright colours and gorgeous patterns, the over-the-top obi, I felt like the models in the photos looked like royalty- I'd never had the money for even used pieces. I had one furisode when I was young, by 17. Ivory, gold, and navy blue, with royal carts and clouds all over. It was beautiful! And yet, I was so self-conscious. I felt like an older woman trying on her wedding dress after years of marriage. Whimsical, but also ridiculous. Trying to be more than I am: plain, unpretty, wary, fundamentally broken.

I bought a beautiful ofurisode in vibrant orange, black, and gold. It was so beautiful- and I'd forgotten what a pain those ankle-length sleeves can be! I sold it off with a matching obi threaded with gold. The gold ofurisode of my childhood was also sold, many years ago, for a few hundred dollars. I adore the designs and yet, I feel so encumbered wearing them. Still... occasionally I fall in love again.

Maybe that's why I adore antique kimono so much: the vibrant patterns, even on middle-aged women's kimono, the longer sleeves still romantic and flirtatious, but not so long and heavy that they weigh me down. What happened to kimono since then? Wartime shortened sleeves to save fabric, but in an era where fabric is still relatively cheap, shouldn't sleeves lengthen a little again? Maybe there aren't enough buyers to matter. Or women today prefer the very short sleeves since you don't have to think so much about sleeve etiquette when they don't get in the way so much.

So I went on a slight buying spree. The whole 'change my life' thing. Maybe I bought a little too much, but I have some student loans coming in soon, and the job I'm going for will more than pay them off. I'm taking as many classes as possible at once, despite everything. I'm in five now. I think three is considered full-time. So I rationalise deserving some beautiful things in return for my hard work...

I bought this peridot beauty. I'm not sure if I'll have the courage to wear it. I sold my furisode juban already, so I don't really have the accessories for it... I have matching obi and obiage, but not an appropriate obijime or the juban.

Even so, maybe I'll wear it once or twice to see how I feel. Then, I'll sell it off. Beauty should be shared with the world! There isn't enough of it sometimes. I was offered a potential spot at the school I attend for a kimono exhibit, possibly a year off. So I should probably think of a variety to show. But I'd prefer to exhibit antiques and related articles... katagami, old books about kimono, maybe I could get a copy of Shufu no Tomo! But I have to find out how much space I have first, and then I can figure out what to bring.

I'll post a collection of photos when I get the other items! Lots of obijime, obiage, a few haori, and a kosode.

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